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3 June 2018

Where I hope my writing takes me.

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My writings can be erratic and I do not really follow any guidelines which is why my posts are often far and in between. Unlike blogging for money where you’re at times obligated to force puke compressed words, trying to make a sense out of bumbling stringed libretto, personal writing for me is better when provoked and the mind is stimulated by intimate encounters. Where I previously document details of my life and paraded my dirty laundries in public, let me be the source of my own shame that despite the negative strike it did on my on-line persona, it was and has been therapeutic for me to dump my thoughts and feelings on my blogs. It's not that I have nobody to talk to, but I also realized that I am not being fair to my friends and love ones that I am passing my negative vibe onto them, blogging was the next best thing. Of course, I have made a lot of changes in my blogging behavior since then. Issues that needs to be addressed in private are now kept in my paper journals.

For a while, I also stopped publishing my writings for reasons too personal to disclose. I even believed that I would stop going on-line entirely! There had been so many times when thoughts come flooding my mind and I feel that longing to write, and like a knee-jerk reaction, I find myself stringing words even on a tissue paper too! Clearly, writing will always be a big part of me. However, in my case, my writing skill hasn't developed as my English skills in the way I hoped. I always find myself struggling and stressing over how I can articulate myself in written form: am I demonstrating fluency and coherence? At the same time, I realize that many have done exactly the same things and their grammatical mistakes didn't mattered as far as contextual awareness is concerned. What's the point of claiming that I only write for my own enjoyment if instead of proving to myself that I can, I'm too worried about people's introspection of my personal learning in life? Isn't the point of personal learning is to grow in your own pace and learn to recognize each season? Perhaps I will always be a learner of life and that's good. 

I'm not fantasizing to become a best seller author, rather, I'd like to write about the things that piques my interests and what I am passionate about. To write about the things that motivates and enlightens, because that's how I would like my children, grandchildren and their children to find my written works. I would like to write endorsements &/or campaigns for companies, reliable reviews and more!  I would like to one day travel and see more of the world and write my reflections about the experience. And for me to achieve this objective, I need to first learn how to write maturely and properly.