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Wednesday, January 23, 2019

Miss writing


It feels like a while since I've written anything remotely decent or intimate on a blog. I have been trying to piece something out, only to delete the lines and paragraphs because I don't think my words are intelligent enough (not that I'm claiming to be, tho I will be bold to say that I'm a smart individual), and I give up entirely and find myself pushing my thoughts back and to. Truthfully, part of my reluctance is because I have a mad rabid dog following my online footprints. I simply don't like the creature to know because the thing isn't welcome in my life. But what the hell, the creature can drop on the ground in violent spasm, foaming on the mouth for all I care. This is my life. Everybody has a story, and this is mine.

Hello friends, how's everyone? Things are doing well from where I last picked it up. When previously, all I do was complain about the unhappy things in my life, I would say that I bumped my head and woke up to reality. I used to be smug about things because hey, "assertive". Wrong. Instead of being grateful that I have the means to support myself, given the chance to prove that I'm capable of being productive, I was being a little piece of shit. I since changed that attitude towards the unfortunate displeasure of meeting the acquaintance of differing personalities and situations. I willed myself to gain patience. I worked on my own behavior because nobody will solve my problems for me. Not everyone will share your vision in life, remember that.

I also practiced keeping an open mind. Where I used to be uptight, I backed the shit down and kept my panties on. It was hard the first time, but a start gets you somewhere. That meant I had to let go of my hang ups. They were plenty. If I wanted to be given the same kind of forgiveness and allowances, then I should be willing to give it. So I did.

Gradually, I learned to place myself in a position where good things can happen to me by not inviting trouble, for example, my bus doesn’t have to stop at every station and I’ve adopted a passive personality with certain situations. We need to learn how to recognize our own battles. Generally, it may be impossible not to be involved with friend trouble, but don’t get too attached to the issue, it’s your friends’ trouble. You can show support by giving sound advice. You also need to learn how to keep your balance and avoid giving company to your friend’s misery. It is also important to build yourself on a reputation to be a good friend, being honest and be supportive when someone needs you.

Where I used to listen to what people said, that I wasn’t normal, only to find out later that everybody has their own kind of weirdness, and this sets us apart from the other. And that I was being surrounded by the wrong crowd, remember the Ugly Duckling story? I am certain that we all have that encounter at one point in our lives. Sometimes we recognize it, sometimes we’re too caught up and it eats us up, swallowing us whole. But it's better to wisen up.

I do not have an ending for this post, I feel that a lot more writing is coming up.

Xoxo